Wedding invitation etiquette can make something as simple as listing your names, date, and venue feel surprisingly complicated. Who is technically hosting? Should parents' names be included? Does the date need to be spelled out? Do you say "request the honor of your presence" or simply "invite you to celebrate"?
Traditional etiquette provides guidelines for all of these decisions, but you don't have to follow every rule for your invitation to be properly worded. Understanding the traditional format first makes it much easier to decide which conventions make sense for your wedding and which ones you'd rather skip.
Traditional wording is commonly used for formal weddings, religious ceremonies, and celebrations where parents or family members are hosting.
The format follows a fairly specific order. The hosts are listed first, followed by the request line, the couple's names, wedding date and time, ceremony location, and reception information.
Dates and times are also traditionally written out rather than shown numerically.
For example:
Saturday, the seventeenth of May
two thousand twenty-seven
at half past four in the afternoon
The formality of the wording can also be reflected in how names are written. Full names, middle names, and formal titles are more common on traditionally worded invitations.
Traditionally, whoever is hosting the wedding is listed first.
If the bride's parents are hosting, the invitation may begin:
Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Miller
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Sophia Elizabeth
to
Daniel James Anderson
Hosting arrangements today aren't always this straightforward. Both families may contribute, the couple may host themselves, or several family members may be involved.
Some commonly used alternatives include:
Together with their families
or
Together with their parents
You can also leave the hosting line off completely.
Traditional etiquette makes a distinction between these two phrases.
"Request the honor of your presence" is traditionally associated with a ceremony held in a place of worship.
"Request the pleasure of your company" is traditionally used for ceremonies held at secular venues.
This is one of those etiquette rules you can choose to follow, but modern invitations frequently use less formal request lines regardless of the ceremony location.
Modern invitation wording keeps the necessary information but removes some of the formalities associated with traditional etiquette.
Names may be listed without titles, dates can be written numerically, and the request line can be much simpler.
For example:
Sophia & Daniel
invite you to celebrate their wedding
Saturday, May 17, 2027
at 4:00 in the afternoon
The Willows at Ashcombe Mansion
Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania
This format is easy to read and gives you considerably more flexibility with the invitation layout.
You aren't required to make your invitation sound formal simply because it's a wedding invitation.
Some couples prefer wording that sounds closer to the way they actually speak. This works particularly well for intimate weddings, less formal celebrations, or invitation designs with a more playful personality.
Your invitation might begin:
Come celebrate with us.
We're getting married!
Let's get married!
The most important consideration is clarity. Guests should still be able to quickly identify who is getting married, when the wedding is happening, and where they need to be.
No. Think of etiquette as a reference point rather than a set of requirements.
Some couples follow traditional etiquette closely. Others keep certain elements, such as spelling out the date and using full names, but choose a more relaxed request line. You can also disregard the traditional format completely.
The level of formality should make sense for the wedding you're hosting and the invitation design you've selected.
Before approving your invitation, make sure you've confirmed:
Your details card can handle information such as accommodations, transportation, dress code, wedding website, and additional weekend events. Keeping those items off the main invitation gives the essential information more room within the design.
You don't need to arrive with perfectly written invitation copy before beginning your stationery.
During the design process at Julia Kay Design, we'll review the information you provide and help determine how it should be structured on the invitation. If you're unsure about a hosting line, formal wording, date format, or reception wording, we'll provide options that make sense for your invitation. Browse our wedding invitation collections to find a suite that matches your style, or get in touch to begin something custom.
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